tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7075130751915722679.post8340678890939870394..comments2022-11-12T09:05:53.119-05:00Comments on 2SB: When Strangers Discipline Your Child: What I Should've DoneAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11573485350524259591noreply@blogger.comBlogger35125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7075130751915722679.post-58643955067298324882011-08-02T22:57:20.361-04:002011-08-02T22:57:20.361-04:00Thanks!Thanks!Milk Bubbleshttp://www.milkbubblesblog.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7075130751915722679.post-77429685580731011572011-08-02T22:56:28.274-04:002011-08-02T22:56:28.274-04:00Jake and I had a discussion *coughfightcough* the ...Jake and I had a discussion *coughfightcough* the other day about how many people need to get onto him when he's doing something wrong, I totally agree with you, even if the other people are just trying to be supportive, 1 person is enough!Milk Bubbleshttp://www.milkbubblesblog.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7075130751915722679.post-21417855551339474992011-07-31T16:38:53.986-04:002011-07-31T16:38:53.986-04:00I have to agree with the father who replied. This...I have to agree with the father who replied. This incident didn't show any bad parenting, and nothing that would constitute bad parenting under any circumstance. This was a mother who was upset a stranger put their hands on her child while she was standing there, stopping him, from doing exactly what the stranger was complaining about. <br /><br />This doesn't constitute over sensitivity, or being too "soft" on a child. I would agree with your statement that there are a great number of parents who don't discipline their children, who allow them to run wild, and to cause trouble. That is not every parent though. To assume anyone who doesn't want a stranger touching their child to stop them from doing something the parents has ALREADY stopped them from doing is ridiculous. You may have a very good argument. It doesn't apply to this blog post though. Not at all.Katenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7075130751915722679.post-61095686566900037892011-07-31T16:32:40.499-04:002011-07-31T16:32:40.499-04:00You know, as a rule, I think it's ok for other...You know, as a rule, I think it's ok for other people to discipline my child. When i think of this, what I think of is, when he is over in the neighbors yard, and she would apologize for telling him "no." I told her, if he's in your yard, kicking your dog, especially if I don't see him do it, please do tell him "no." Or grandparents, or, even strangers, if, for some reason, I have looked away. (We had it last weekend at a birthday party. I was in the other room changing Ella, and he went for the cake. The mommy- one we play with weekly-told him "no" and he cried. But, I would have told him the same thing if I'd seen him try and stick his fingers in the cake, and he would have cried) It only really bothers me when I've already said, "no." I don't think everyone needs to yell at him for an infraction. If I've already told him why his behavior was wrong, we don't need 3 other people restating the same thing. I was interested to read your post. <br /><br />That situation would have pissed me off big time. For all the reasons you listed. I have never been faced with a situation like that, and I'm not, honestly, sure how I would react. I think though, after reading your post, and thinking about it, there is a much better chance I would ask to speak to the manager and complain about the employees conduct. Everything you said is right. The employee was out of line, in a big way. No one should feel the need to lay hands on your child for any reason, especially if you're right there. She could have directed herself to you, and said, "please don't let him touch the decorations," or whatever. It still would have been presumptuous and obnoxious, and I would still think poorly of her, but she could have expressed her concerns without completely overstepping herself.Katenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7075130751915722679.post-88296735327524764152011-07-30T19:30:05.799-04:002011-07-30T19:30:05.799-04:00No one better touch my child. I have three and som...No one better touch my child. I have three and sometimes I'm outnumbered - if one gets away from me and is acting like an ass, feel free to say something - but if you touch them, bad things will happen... Now, that said - My toddler ran for the parking lot while I was strapping the baby into her carseat and an old man scooped her up and brought her back - I was SO EMBARRASSED but grateful. He scolded ME and I totally deserved it.Evin Cooperhttp://profiles.google.com/evinschmevinnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7075130751915722679.post-83235637217020939272011-07-30T00:38:30.900-04:002011-07-30T00:38:30.900-04:00Thanks for commenting and the follow-back!!Thanks for commenting and the follow-back!!Milk Bubbleshttp://www.milkbubblesblog.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7075130751915722679.post-82754754500362152902011-07-30T00:02:52.897-04:002011-07-30T00:02:52.897-04:00I think you are 100% right! I would be REALLY upse...I think you are 100% right! I would be REALLY upset as well. I don't like anybody being rude to my child when she is just being a toddler. As you said, if they were so worried about touching, they shouldn't keep their merchandise at children's eye level. I would MAYBE understand if you were not around, but you were right there and already handling the situation. Totally unacceptable!<br />Thank you for following me and grabbing my button! I'm following you back!Essential Mama Babynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7075130751915722679.post-7276500700523953202011-07-29T19:53:56.495-04:002011-07-29T19:53:56.495-04:00Oh I agree that the shame thing works better on ol...Oh I agree that the shame thing works better on older kids (my older one is ten) - and I also would have FLIPPED had someone laid a hand on either of children!Kylienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7075130751915722679.post-58254871083452496032011-07-29T07:53:23.595-04:002011-07-29T07:53:23.595-04:00I agree with this, totally! I try hard, too to kee...I agree with this, totally! I try hard, too to keep my kids behavior AWESOME! It really bothers me, too that the lack of parenting is dangerous sometimes.Rebecca Hensonhttp://www.facebook.com/queenbeckanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7075130751915722679.post-28231725525516046912011-07-29T07:46:08.326-04:002011-07-29T07:46:08.326-04:00I agree with this, too!!! Although, I don't th...I agree with this, too!!! Although, I don't think this is the case with the author- I see way too many soft moms with horrible kids. I am pretty rough around the edges as a mom, but my kids know better! Why do you think there is this Nationwide kid ban going on?! Most Parents don't parent anymore...Rebecca Hensonhttp://www.facebook.com/queenbeckanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7075130751915722679.post-57869923662158084242011-07-29T07:41:45.899-04:002011-07-29T07:41:45.899-04:00I just realized I didn't make sense LOL - I wo...I just realized I didn't make sense LOL - I would NEVER let someone touch my kid and the only thing I allow a stranger to do is tell my kids TSK TSK as far as discipline goes. And I agree ^ if someone is going to get hurt, then stopping it from escalating through moving a kid, grabbing their arm or pushing them back is probably a good thing, otherwise- NO, no do not touch my kid!Rebecca Hensonhttp://www.facebook.com/queenbeckanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7075130751915722679.post-41133465099215712882011-07-28T23:20:03.571-04:002011-07-28T23:20:03.571-04:00I'm glad you posted about it, from the respons...I'm glad you posted about it, from the response on both of our pages it seems like a pretty big deal and I don't think I've ever heard it brought up before!Milk Bubbleshttp://www.milkbubblesblog.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7075130751915722679.post-17926532538659844732011-07-28T23:17:29.132-04:002011-07-28T23:17:29.132-04:00Distraction is one of the best ways, especially fo...Distraction is one of the best ways, especially for the littler set! I think you handled the little girls situation very well, if I was that distracted then I really hope someone would say something to him if they didn't know who his mom was! <br /><br />The reason it bothered me not to be acknowledged was just because she got between me and Aedyn, nearly hitting my hand that was reaching for him, and because he was so young (barely a toddler), if I hadn't been right next to him that part wouldn't have been an issue.Milk Bubbleshttp://www.milkbubblesblog.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7075130751915722679.post-85084039539394356252011-07-28T23:14:10.591-04:002011-07-28T23:14:10.591-04:00Wow! Can't watch her kids because she's sh...Wow! Can't watch her kids because she's shopping? Must be nice!<br /><br />I think that the shame factor can be a very good thing in older children and even preschoolers, but I don't believe it's effective in children under 2 or 2 and a half, they just aren't developed enough to understand the shame of someone else getting onto them.<br /><br />I've gotten onto the bigger kids in play areas myself, their parents never seem to be around and after they've knocked over a couple littler ones I'm usually about ready to throw them out! Our mall can be pretty bad for that.Milk Bubbleshttp://www.milkbubblesblog.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7075130751915722679.post-25062468272459099072011-07-28T22:27:39.190-04:002011-07-28T22:27:39.190-04:00I would have definitely given the worker - and man...I would have definitely given the worker - and manager - an earful. I'm right with you!<br />Crystal<br />http://www.SoooBig.WordPress.comMommy Cnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7075130751915722679.post-64781128787355357332011-07-28T22:26:14.248-04:002011-07-28T22:26:14.248-04:00That was one of my big points, I was RIGHT next to...That was one of my big points, I was RIGHT next to him, REACHING for him, while verbally correcting him, there was not one part of myself that was not engaged in preventing him from touching and she nearly hit my hand as reached in front of me to grab him. I definitely don't mind someone saying something to him, especially in places like the play place, because things happen quickly and they may see something I can't. But unless he's about to harm himself or someone else I don't ever see physical touch as an appropriate disciplinary tool if the parent has not given you express permission to use that method!Milk Bubbleshttp://www.milkbubblesblog.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7075130751915722679.post-88964006714057359692011-07-28T22:22:16.163-04:002011-07-28T22:22:16.163-04:00Thanks for commenting, I really do think that a st...Thanks for commenting, I really do think that a stranger disciplining any child under age two can definitely do more harm than good, older than that and I'm willing to talk :)Milk Bubbleshttp://www.milkbubblesblog.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7075130751915722679.post-73524868441843002392011-07-28T22:21:03.205-04:002011-07-28T22:21:03.205-04:00Thanks for commenting! I really like the way you p...Thanks for commenting! I really like the way you put it about it taking a village, but the village is not the parent, good stuff!Milk Bubbleshttp://www.milkbubblesblog.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7075130751915722679.post-7077584640044157622011-07-28T22:20:05.080-04:002011-07-28T22:20:05.080-04:00I respect your opinion on the matter and agree wit...I respect your opinion on the matter and agree with you to an extent, but I'm not sure how your comment applies to the situation I was talking about. I did say that I was in the middle of telling him "No" and explaining why and I was also reaching for him when the sales associate lunged in front of me. I was most definitely NOT letting him just "express himself". I also think having a stranger disciplining a child under the age of 2 would not be healthy in any way to anyone involved, merely frightening the child and possibly causing a long term fear of strangers.Milk Bubbleshttp://www.milkbubblesblog.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7075130751915722679.post-42119236394805719472011-07-28T22:19:36.276-04:002011-07-28T22:19:36.276-04:00Having been on the other side of the employee/kids...Having been on the other side of the employee/kids relationship, I will tell you how I've handled similar situations in the past. Working at a coffee shop, frequently customers' kids would rearrange the floor merchandise or the bottled drinks, use the newspaper stand as a push-cart, etc. As long as the parents were with them or they weren't damaging anything (or playing with something hazardous) I let them. And if the parents were watching them, I let them be. But the thing I took issue with was when an unsupervised little girl decided to use the door handle to swing off of. This went on for several minutes until I got scared that another customer would come in the door and squish the little girl's fingers. I didn't want to be held liable for that. So I spoke directly to the little girl and told her the door wasn't a toy and I didn't want her to get hurt. I would likely have not addressed her mom, had the mom been standing there b/c I would have figured the mom could handle it. But I wasn't sure which customer was the mom, so I addressed the child. It worked out well in the end, with the distracted mom coming and retrieving her child, but I guess I went against your 4th point. However, I would NEVER touch a stranger's child, get between child and parent, or discipline someone else's child while they're already disciplining them! Among friends, the only times I ever "discipline" someone else's child is if the child is harming or potentially harming my baby or my stuff. And then I only use words, or sometimes the art of distraction. :-)Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01961381293084207018noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7075130751915722679.post-70984733956820837532011-07-28T22:14:04.599-04:002011-07-28T22:14:04.599-04:00I wouldn't have minded her saying something to...I wouldn't have minded her saying something to him if it had been a different tone, especially since he hadn't touched it yet, but the actual touching him set me off big time!Milk Bubbleshttp://www.milkbubblesblog.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7075130751915722679.post-70578257236624735752011-07-28T22:12:35.527-04:002011-07-28T22:12:35.527-04:00Thanks for the support! I'd like to think I...Thanks for the support! I'd like to think I'd be polite, but I'm not sure what the reality would have been!Milk Bubbleshttp://www.milkbubblesblog.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7075130751915722679.post-80838675069251872092011-07-28T22:10:40.724-04:002011-07-28T22:10:40.724-04:00Thank you for linking up with my post. And, I appr...Thank you for linking up with my post. And, I appreciate you sharing your similar story via this post. I don't think you overreacted at all, and how you felt is exactly how I felt. I don't know but I think it's kind of unnecessary for strangers to discipline a child when their parent is being attentive and showing that they can handle the disciplinary "problem" without any outside interventions. I realize that in my situation my daughter did listen to the story teller and all was well in the end, but I guess what bothered me most was that I felt like my efforts at disciplining were diminished through the whole exchange. *sigh. I think your experience was particularly awkward because the store associate actually touched your child. That's insane, and totally unnecessary.mommyhoodnextrighthttp://twitter.com/mommyhoodnxtrtnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7075130751915722679.post-81800720174421817752011-07-28T22:10:15.960-04:002011-07-28T22:10:15.960-04:00Thanks for the comment! I think it would have been...Thanks for the comment! I think it would have been a little different if he had been older, but still, unless he was going to hurt himself or someone else touching a child you don't know is not ok!Milk Bubbleshttp://www.milkbubblesblog.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7075130751915722679.post-77528478970331964982011-07-28T22:07:26.871-04:002011-07-28T22:07:26.871-04:00Two comments are missing from Shelley and Kylie, s...Two comments are missing from Shelley and Kylie, sorry ya'll, I'm working with Disqus to figure out what happened to them, I hope they will appear by tomorrow and I can respond!Milk Bubbleshttp://www.milkbubblesblog.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.com