16 April 2011

Happily Ever After...but are you willing to do the time?

Something that's really been on my heart tonight...not sure why, but maybe it's what someone somewhere needs to hear.

I have lost count of the number of young women who have asked me how I knew that God told me to marry Jake.They are convinced that God is telling them who their future spouse is, and hoping for a formula or sign that it's true. They hear our story, the 7 year epic that ends with a beautiful wedding and catapults us into an adventurous life accompanied by two gorgeous little boys. They see the ending, they hear the beginning, but time and time again they miss the middle. They read the introduction and skip the whole book to read the last page.

Jake and I do have a very unique and special story. Due to my wonderful husband's hardheadedness God had to use some very strong and specific ways to get me to wait around until he could bash the 2x4 against Jake's cranium enough times to get the message through(love you, honey!). In truth, we both had alot of growing up to do before we could really be who we needed to be for each other.

I've been told that I was blessed and so fortunate that God told me at 16 that I would marry Jake. Ummm, ok. It was what it was and what it needed to be, but there was no feeling of blessing in it. I still wonder what God was thinking when he did that to a teenage girl! And that, my friends, is what makes it a fairy tale.

Fairy tales start out "Once Upon A Time" and end "Happily Ever After" with Prince Charming, the wedding, and the beginning of a new life together. A synonym for "happy" is "blessed" and many years ago that meant more than what it does today. So you might as well say "and they lived blessed forever after." Not a smiling all the time, but content with life and the partner they have joined themselves to for life. That's for free, now back to the topic.

Have you ever READ the story? Really? Cut out the intro and the ending. Read it! Cinderella was a SLAVE in her own house, Snow White was EXILED & POISONED, Beauty was IMPRISONED, Rapunzel was IMPRISONED, Sleeping Beauty was EXILED & POISONED. Esther LOST HER WHOLE FAMILY, and Ruth LOST EVERYTHING. They didn't know that Prince Charming was coming or that anything would ever change, they only knew that they had to make it through one more day, survive one more minute.

In our story, I didn't know that Jake wasn't going to marry whichever girl was on his MySpace Top Friends. It was torture to see those photos. I didn't know that he would ever hear the same Voice that I did. I tried to make it happen, I tried to "just be around", I tried not to try. It was 7 years of heartbreak after heartbreak over the same guy.  Seven years of hoping that one day I'd walk around a corner or down the steps and he'd be waiting to whisk me away, only to never find him there. It was crap! I had married him, but he hadn't married me yet. I walked around every day knowing that he was my husband, but he would not and could not acknowledge me as his wife. That is a very heavy burden to place on anyone. I did not always manage it with the grace and maturity I should have, I openly admit that. I'm not perfect, as Jake can more than tell you.

But it's the story. Serving the time makes the rescue so much sweeter. Watch for Prince Charming, but don't wait for him. Do what is in front of you and do it well; if you feel like your one of the imprisoned/enslaved/poisoned ones then just get through the day (It was actually during a period of poisoning when Jake came back and rescued me). Live, travel, follow your dreams. DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO!!! If you think you have heard the voice of God and not just your own, then PRAY and GIVE UP, if you have heard Him, than be ready to be pursued, but let Prince Charming hear God's voice and NOT YOURS. Only time will tell if what you heard was you or your Creator. If you have heard God's voice on the matter, then know that it wasn't His final word, He's still telling you things, don't let the one "exciting" revelation drown out everything else you can and should be doing!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you haven't heard His voice then don't hold yourself back waiting on a misunderstanding, you should still be going, still doing, still contributing to the world and people around you; LIVE YOUR LIFE.

Remember, Disney movies would be alot shorter if the Princess just sat around moping and then got married....


  1. Great story. Very wise words. But on a funny note--I am thinking of Shrek 3 when all the princesses are trapped in the castle and Snow, Beauty and Cinderella "assume the position" and wait to be rescued. But Fiona and Mom bust their way out. Quite a contrast and maybe fits with your analogy and exhortation.

  2. I never saw Shrek 3...I guess I should remedy that deficiency in my education :)


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