So What Are We Left With? Why I Want My Sons to Watch Princess Movies - Part 3

(This is Part 3 of a series on Why I Want My Sons to Watch Princess Movies, make sure you check out Part 1 and Part 2!)

So in the year 2011, what are we left with? Girls who don’t know how to act like a real princess and boys who don’t even know they’re supposed to be looking for one.

In 2011 “Princess” is a word that is usually used to denote a girl who is spoiled, who gets everything she wants, when she wants it. The word conjures to mind fluffy pink boas and tiaras. It’s a title without substance, like a bon-bon or chocolate mousse, beautiful, rich, tastes good, but just really not a lot there when you take a bite out of it. 

A real princess was born for something altogether different. Literally. From the time she is born she knows she is special, not in an arrogant or biased way, it is simply a fact.

Now, for clarification, when I’m speaking about a princess, I’m talking about one who is expected to become queen, not just any royal who is born with a title.

A princess is a servant. She is a servant to the people she leads. She works long hours and makes difficult well-thought out decisions based on what is best for her country and the people therein.

Where Have All the Princesses Gone? Why I Want My Sons to Watch Princess Movies - Part 2

Me and my Bro

My parents did a fantastic job raising me and my brother. They taught Joshua from infancy how to treat a lady. Being siblings, we were often at odds, but he knew how to treat me. He still opens doors for me, offers to let me sit down before he does, carries my shopping bags or my children, and for my birthday a few years ago he took me to dinner and to see Phantom of the Opera live. He treats me like a lady and I know without a doubt he loves me. Yes, that’s my BROTHER I’m talking about (by the way, as alot of women don’t know how to enjoy being treated like a princess, he is available and I’m accepting applications on his behalf...). My response is to honor that treatment by respecting him, yeah we joke around and tease and drive each other crazy, we ARE siblings for goodness sake; but I would die before I did something that truly embarrassed him or made him look bad.

They also taught me alot. I learned many aspects of being a real princess. What I failed to learn was how to let a man be chivalrous. I’m not sure how much of that was due to my parents teaching and how much was due to society. But while my brother learned how to be a gentleman, I learned how to be independent nearly to a fault. I started to work on letting men be men thanks to a guy friend in college who actually made me go back inside a building because I hadn’t let him open the door for me. We were never anything remotely more than friends, but he was taught to treat all women with respect and care; as a result, he is now happily married to a very lucky woman.

Jake getting me out of yet
another pickle

Unfortunately for my husband, Jake, he’s the one who pays the price for my independent streak the still occasionally runs amuck.
While I very much appreciate him opening doors for me to get into the car, I don’t even consider waiting until he has the opportunity to get around the vehicle to open the door for me to get out of the car! He acts of chivalry are all to often met with “I’ll just do it.”, “No, I got it.”, or “That’s ok, I can do it.” I have a very difficult time letting him do something for me that I know I can do. I don’t want to  waste his time, and I often forget what he often reminds me: He wants to do things for me. He loves me and knows that I’m capable of doing anything I set my mind to. But just because I have the ability to do it doesn’t mean that I should have to.

As tween, teenager, and college student I loved the song “Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?”, with the release of Shrek in 2001 “I Need A Hero” regained popularity from the 80’s. I, like many young women believed that all the real men had disappeared. Now I see that maybe my generation of women worked them out of a job.

It's Not What You Think! Why I Want My Sons to Watch Princess Movies - Part 1

I remember quite vividly the first time I exercised my parental right to choose a movie instead of watching Toy Story (1, 2, or 3), Cars, or Star Wars (III, IV, V, or VI). It involved much screaming and crying and fit throwing. After I was done, I calmly told Aedyn “We are a family, you don’t always get to choose!”

Then I put in Mulan. Another time, Beauty & the Beast, when he wanted to watch it again immediately I didn’t say no. He will even ask for Tangled and he put Cinderella in this morning. That said, there are still plenty of times when we’re watching Star Wars; and Cars and Toy Story are never unwatched for too long.

Let me be clear on this point. IT IS NOT BECAUSE I'M TRYING TO GENTLE HIM DOWN. I don’t show him these movies to try and distract him from competition, violence, or other “overly” masculine things. There is not enough true masculinity in this world as it is! But that is another post.

Initially, yes, I personally needed a break from all the testosterone driven entertainment we were watching. But as I watched him view these films and started thinking, I realized he needs to watch them. In a society where women are objectified, undressed, and pasted on a billboard, very little is left to tell the male gender what a true lady, a true princess, looks like.

How is he supposed to find a “girl to marry” if all he’s ever exposed to are “girls you date”? If I can save him even one heartbreak by showing him there’s a difference, by helping him understand the difference, then I know it’s worth it.

Aedyn and Jaron have a wonderful father, a man who can teach them how to be men. I know they’ll grow up a be Prince Charmings on white horses, looking for someone to sweep off her feet. But, that’s Jake’s job to teach them how to reconcile being warriors and lovers.

I have a different job. I have to teach them who is worth sweeping off her feet.

Snow White, Cinderella, Rapunzel were from abusive homes and unfair situations; but none of them ever showed any bitterness or self-pity, they didn’t let their environment rule them. Belle was an example of self-sacrifice; someone who had inner strength and confidence and who overcame her fears to protect those she loved.These are characteristics of the “girl you marry”.

Then consider Ariel, the Little Mermaid. She was a spoiled, little, rich, kid, who was rebellious, pitched a temper tantrum and things somehow just worked out for her. I have some serious doubts that just because she got her way she was suddenly cured of breaking all the rules and instantly turned into a model wife and ruler.

The question is: Where have all the Princesses gone? In a society that encourages young women to be like Ariel and just take what they want and do what it takes, aren’t we missing something? What happened to gracefulness and integrity?

Be sure to read Part 2 and Part 3! Follow on Facebook or Twitter to make sure you don't miss out!