And He Needs to Gain More Weight

Just when I thought things were going great we had Jaron's 9 month check-up. He's perfect, which I knew, except that his weight percentile has dropped. Again.

I make my babies Travel Sized

He was born at 8lbs 5oz, I'm sure that was a little inflated due to IV fluids (don't get me started), but not too much. That was around the 68%ile, at 4 weeks he was at the 48%ile, not too bad, 2 months 32%ile still dropping but no one was worried. This was when I started wondering and putting the pieces together about 2 weeks before  his 4 month appt I figured out that I had a Hindmilk/Foremilk Imbalance (story here).

At his 4 month appt he'd dropped from the 30's to the 13%ile. That's when our Dr said something, but when I told him what our issues had been and that I had taken steps to balance things out he was confident that his weight would stabilize by 6 months.

Six months rolled by and it did stabilize somewhat, at the 10%ile, the smallest drop we'd seen. I stopped worrying as much. I fed him as much as he wanted, which wasn't much, but he's getting older, so I chalked it up to that. He's more active, more distracted, more efficient. He would go through phases of loving solids and then refusing all of them, even his favorites and only nursing. It made for some interesting diapers, but I wasn't worried.

Then we had his 9 month appointment yesterday. He's 16lbs 8.5oz. At 9 months, he's not even quite doubled his birth weight. He's <3%ile by one chart and in the 3 - 5%ile on the other. If he were little all over it might be more explainable, but he's 28" long (40%ile).

Fortunately we have a good doctor, his recommendation through all of this has been "Breastfeed more!" So at the end of World Breastfeeding Week I'm trying to get my active 9 month old to nurse more instead of staying the same or starting to wean. Well, at least it gives me an "excuse" for all the critics who think he should be mostly on solids at this point. Doctor's orders!

I got some great advice at #BFCafe Twitter chat last night, so glad his appt was on a Thursday! We'll be working on cutting out distractions, which means occupying Aedyn with a movie in another room. I'm going to try and get him to nurse on both sides every time, maybe the change in position will help him eat more. (A little worried that this might lead back to oversupply and imbalance, but it's a risk I feel I have to take.) I'm also going to offer more frequently during the day and I'm going to stop trying to put him back to sleep at night without nursing. I'm thinking now that it wasn't really a habit, but that he really was needing those feedings. (I wasn't trying terribly hard anyway.)

I'm not quite ready to wake him to feed him at night, but I will if he hasn't stabilized by 12 months. Why do I feel like his nursing style has been the exact opposite of most babies? Sleeping 6 hour night stretches as a newborn and talking about waking him to nurse at 12 months....


But, as if he heard the doctor, he nursed really well all day yesterday after his appointment and was eating anything he could get his hands on...including breaking his way into a bag of Cheetos...

Maybe he just has a height spurt before he packs on a ton of weight and we caught him between the two.

So it's time to nurse again and no distractions means no NAK (nursing at keyboard) for me. Say a prayer and wish me luck!

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No Going Back: When I Made the Decision to Breastfeed

I was never around breastfeeding women when I was growing up. I never saw it that I remember. The only experience with breastfeeding that I do remember from my childhood was at a public pool for some sort of gathering, it may have been my dad's office party or a church things, who knows?

I was about 8 and was loving playing with my mom's friend's baby. Then she said that she had to take the baby to the dressing room and feed her. I asked "Can I help?" My mom and the lady both looked a little embarrassed and my mom said, "No, she nurses." I asked again, "Can I help?" My mom, "No" and maybe something about only mommy's can nurse and I should have known that.

My newborn doll and Aedyn at 8 weeks

I just remember that I'd never heard the term "nursing" before in that context; and I felt ashamed that I didn't know what it meant. I find it interesting that although I fed my dolls from bottles, I don't remember ever thinking that it was normal. I also remember hiding in my room and breastfeeding them.

Whatever my early childhood involved about breastfeeding I just always thought that it was normal, and I knew that it's what I would do. I wish I could tell you what made me decide to breastfeed, most moms have a reason. But mine is - it's just what you do. (Maybe it's hand in hand with the naivete that had me wondering why my OB would "Do the best he could so I could try another vaginal birth." When I said "There's always next time." while being whisked away for an Emergency C-sec. In my mind, Why would a C-sec preclude me from a vaginal birth the next time? But that's another story.)

But my expectations were tested early. When I was eighteen and completely uncomfortable in my size 30H bra I went in for my first complete physical. Yay, fun...(don't allow the sarcasm to drip off the edge of the screen and soak you...) I was given the option to start the process for a breast reduction. I wanted that reduction so bad! But because they would have to take so much tissue, no one could promise me more than a 50/50 shot at ever being able to breastfeed. There was no more discussion.

And with that, my decision was final. Besides all the reasons that I think are great for breastfeeding, besides the fact that I've never felt right about putting a bottle in my baby's mouth, I made a choice not to take an opportunity to get a reduction that would have been fully covered by insurance. That was it. I was going to breastfeed or die. And I did. Breastfeed, I mean...obviously I'm still here...

Now I look at myself in the mirror, so glad I made the decision that I made. Nothing beats the feeling of feeding your child from your own body. But I look, and I think, 2 more babies, then we're done. Only maybe 8 more years, then I can get rid of these, then I can look normal. But I will have breastfed, and I am proud that I waited. (And then I think, will we really be done at 2 more? What if we adopt a baby and I want to nurse him/her *sigh*)

I love hearing how and when women decided to nurse. What's your story?

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Wordless Wednesday ~ Formula Giftbags Are Good For...

Hospital Formula Giftbags Are Good For...

Breastpump storage and transportation (Similac)

Transporting a donation of over 200oz of frozen breastmilk
for a baby that might otherwise be taking formula (Enfamil)

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Pumping to Nurse: Make It Fit

I recently stopped pumping and not because I didn't want the extra milk. I was nursing Jaron and pumping off my oversupply to donate. On the surface it seemed to be working out great. Then Jaron hit a growth spurt and started needing all my milk; I took a break from pumping because he was eating so often I just didn't have the time.

When I stopped using the pump I found out several things. Some of then had crossed my mind, but I had refused to really consider them as issues.

First, I was blaming Jaron for pain caused by the pump. I thought maybe his latch had regressed, or it was that he was nursing more frequently, or that his teeth were rubbing. Some days were better than others, at worst it hurt for him to latch and then continued to hurt for the entire feeding, not nearly as bad as the tongue-tie pain from Aedyn, but it was more than just uncomfortable.

What was really the issue was the the flange was too small. Even though I had ordered the large size, I need the x-large. I didn't want to admit to myself that I was really that big. I didn't want to be at the top of the size offerings. I didn't want to think about what if I get bigger the next pregnancy and there's nothing for me? I've already done that with nursing bras, now almost with regular bras, and the large size was fine for pumping with Aedyn, so there's a precedent.

Second, I never realized how much it stressed me  to try and and make the daily pumping quota I set for myself. I realized that I might have been limiting Jaron so that I would have enough to pump what I wanted to be pumping for the other babies. While completely unintentional I was putting the babies I was pumping for ahead of my own child.

So I decided to stop pumping. I could've ordered new flanges, but my pump's about to give out and I'm on the fence about which pump I want for the next baby, so they might not be needed. But mainly because pumping was what was best for MY baby.

One of the babies is now getting donated milk from another mom that my friend found through Human Milk 4 Human Babies. The other has gone to formula. I'm not thrilled about that, but that's her parents decision. I can't compromise my own baby's health and deprive him of my milk because I'm trying to feed someone else's child. I can't save the world.

There has to be balance. Maybe if Jaron and I had had a good nursing relationship from the beginning I would've maintained that balance a little better, had a better grasp on what he really needed instead of always feeling like I had so much extra. Who knows?

What matters now, is that all of our nursing problems have been solved. He nurses beautifully and eats until he's satisfied. I don't walk around feeling yucky because I'm never empty, and I know that he's getting what he needs now. Not too much foremilk, not too little milk overall. It may have taken us 9 months to get here, but breastfeeding is finally enjoyable, not just tolerable!

Any thoughts? Comment here and then come join me on Google+, Facebook, and/or Twitter!

Nursing Styles

Happy World Breastfeeding Week!

From before I even was pregnant with Jaron, everyone told me that my children were going to be as different from each other as night and day. Siblings always are. Well, I wouldn't say that the boys are that different, but neither are they the same by any stretch of the imagination!

Especially when it came to nursing. All difficulties aside, they couldn't be more different. And even with everything I'd been told to expect, that wasn't mentioned.

Aedyn was my little Dyson vacuum. He had a strong suck reflex from the moment he was born. He'd latch onto anything! Face, shoulder, finger, toys, if anything came within 3 inches of his face he'd be trying to suck on it. He'd  eat, and comfort nurse, comfort nurse and eat. I could feed him anytime, anywhere. If I was leaving to run to the grocery store, I could feed him and he'd be good for at least 3 hours, even if he had only nursed 20 minutes before, he'd always be ready for more. I thought he would never wean and was fully prepared to tandem nurse for awhile. But, when I got pregnant, he just quit. I wasn't thrilled, but it was his decision, so I didn't force the issue.

Jaron, on the other hand, will not do anything before he is ready. If he nursed 20 minutes ago, you can be sure that he won't nurse again until he's ready, and that could be anywhere from 5 minutes to 5 hours. Try and guess when he'll be hungry and you'll be wrong nearly every time. And goodness knows, if you try and delay a session...the whole world will know. At first I thought he wasn't as attached as Aedyn was because he didn't snap up every chance that he was offered. Now I wonder if he might be more so, maybe it's only a phase, or maybe not. We've still got awhile to see how it plays out.

With 2 more planned for sometime in the future I can't help but wonder how each of them will differ from their brothers!

Have you noticed any major differences between your nurslings? Are there any things that you hope future little ones do differently, or that you hope is a family trait?

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