Until Death Do Us Part ~ 30 Years Grown

It's amazing how one change in a week can throw your whole perception of time out of whack. We didn't go to church on Sunday and I have been at a complete loss as to the day and date for the past 3 days.

So it was with much shame that I realized that I had let my parent's 30th wedding anniversary slip by almost unnoticed. I could've sworn that Wednesday was the 12th. I have been brainstorming and contemplating a gift for them for weeks. So I was totally caught of guard last night when my mom told me what Dad had done for her that day and that they have finally and officially booked their first anniversary cruise.

I'm excited for them, they've been wanting and planning on going on a cruise for 15 years, but something always came up. Braces, my dad would be out of town, they bought a house, my dad changed jobs, the air conditioner broke. That part of up where the "Paradise Lost" jar keeps getting broken, again, and again, and again...that was their cruise. And now they're going! Ok, well, in September they're going if you want to get technical.

Tonight I watched my mom try on dresses and swimsuits and we hashed out the ups and downs of each one trying to decided which ones she should take back to the store...of course, she's keeping them all!

As I drove home tonight, carried the boys to their beds, and took care of a few emails. I kept tearing up thinking about what the last 30 years have meant (besides the fact that I'll be 29 this year, eek!).

30. Thirty. 3-0 years. 3 decades. More of their lives together than apart (although that happened 5 years ago.)

Through 12 moves, 5 states, 2 children, and a war that had them oceans apart for the better part of 2 years. And much more time apart when you add up all the hundreds of overseas or out of state TDYs (Temporary Duty) that my dad had in his 20 years with the United States Air Force. Against all odds and with mountains of statistics piled against them.

It wasn't easy on either of them. They fought, there was tension. But they both have always been completely faithful to one another. Divorce was never an option. Never. No matter what.

One of my most vivid memories is of hearing my parents fighting in their room shortly after one of my friend's parents had gotten a divorce. I started crying, my brother started crying because I was and Mom and Dad came out to see what was going on. I asked if they were going to get a divorce.

My dad got down on his knees and looked us in the eyes, he told us "When Mommy and I got married, God made us into a chain. That chain can never, ever be broken. We might fight, but we love each other and we will never, ever get a divorce."

And they haven't. And they won't.

They have been an amazing example of what a marriage is supposed to look like.

It's not perfect, but they are committed to making it work. They may or may not be in love with each other day in and day out, but they love each other completely and without reserve. They keep their promises. And they promised "until death do us part."

I hope in 26 years that Aedyn & Jaron can say the same thing about Jake & my marriage.

I'm proud of my parents. They have achieved something amazing! Here's to the next 30 years and may they be the best yet!

**Of course, I have no digital photos of their wedding, so you get to see them at my wedding and wedding rehearsal, lucky you!**

You Need to Fight, But Do You Know How?

It was pointed out to me over the weekend that while I blogged last Thursday about how fighting is good for you, I didn't even touch on how to fight, or, more importantly, how to fight fair.

Sooooo, here we go. I did bounce this off of Jake and he okay-ed me tossing in some examples from some of our more recent fights.

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Stay On Topic
What are you fighting about?

Jake and I are currently down to one computer. It wouldn't be a big deal, except we've both gotten used to having a computer available whenever we need it for however long we need it. So, you can imagine, we've drastically had to adjust our lives around having just the one (have to be honest, since using his laptop I'll never be happy with my Netbook or XP again *sigh*). Anyway.

The other night Jake came down on me about hogging the computer, I threw out: How was the time I spent on the computer any different the time he chose to spend in bed when I got up with the kids in mornings? He called me on it.

Fighting: It's Good For You

How we deal with disagreements in our house...

*Be sure to read You Need To Fight, but Do You know How? for my views on fighting fair.*

When newlyweds or not-yet-weds tell me that they don't ever fight, the first thought that goes through my head is, "Wow, ya'll must never talk about anything either of you really cares about" because if you agree 100% on everything with another person, then one of you is lying.

Jake and I are both very opinionated, passionate, and stubborn individuals. In my case, it's just being steadfast and determined; in his, it's just being bull-headed. Hey, it's my blog, I can color it however I want!