If you listen to "them", "they" tell parents not to spank, it borders on physical abuse and is in effective. But if spanking is physical abuse, then isn't time-out bordering on emotional abuse? Are you not telling your child that they are not worth having a relationship with if they can't behave? Does that child become a teenager who makes a mistake and then feels like they won't be welcome at home? Doesn't time-out breed resentment and depression out of being isolated and rejected by those who are supposed to love them unconditionally?
Yes, abuse is exactly what it would be if time-outs were used incorrectly. But used correctly... *WAIT* Did you catch that? "Used correctly" If spanking is used correctly then it also wouldn't be abuse under the stipulation that it is used correctly.
So what do we do in a culture and under legislature that tries to make it increasingly difficult to discipline children? Is it any surprise that America's prison system has become more over-crowded as America's children have become more wild, unruly, and downright defiant to parents, teachers, and the law itself?
If parent's don't discipline a toddler, then someone else is going to some time. Maybe not until they're an older child getting thrown into juvi, or an adult making their 4th court appearance as a defendant, or maybe they mouthed off to the wrong person one time too many and now they will never speak another word.
I spank my boys. Well, I spank Aedyn. Jaron's too young, although he does get his hand smacked if he tries to stick his finger in a light socket after he's been warned. We also use time-out. Both have a place and purpose.
A spanking is earned for direct disobedience. Aedyn is told what to do, then he is given a choice, he may choose to obey or he may choose a spanking. Most of the time he obeys, occasionally he tests to see if we'll really follow through. In that case he gets 3 swats, his age plus 1 and we're done. It's quick and it's over, we go back about our lives. He knows the difference between spanking and hitting, and there is a difference.
Time--outs we use for attitude issues. Mainly disrespect. We will also give him the choice to stop a temper tantrum or go to his room and get it out of his system, which I consider a time-out. They take longer and can significantly impair our day. They're also harder to enforce when we're out of the house.
I would rather cause my children pain now, either physically or emotionally, to keep them from worse pain later. Because I know that I do what I do because I love them, and I am not doing it to break them, but to smooth out their rough spots and shape them into contributing and effective members of society.
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