To Wean Or Not To Wean - That Is The Question!

About 6 months ago I posted on night weaning. Honestly, not a lot has changed since then.

Jaron still nurses 3 times a night. Bedtime, around 1am, and between 6 & 8am. (Daytime doesn't start until 9am around our house - result of Jake's typical workday ending at 230am-ish most nights.)

He still nurses before nap.

And he still asks to nurse at least 2 other random times during the day.

I've been trying to semi-wean for weeks now. By semi-wean I mean just cut down on the number of sessions to 2-3 in a 24 hour period. We tried going slow and only cutting out one and it didn't seem to work they weren't scheduled so I never knew when or which to drop. So finally I cut out all of our day sessions except naptime.

Not nursing during the day is going well as long as I can keep him busy. If he gets bored then his demands for milk turn into whining and temper tantrums.

So, fter a few days of things going ok, I tried to cut out our 1am session.

After 2 nights being up from 1am until 3 am, plus the hormonal havoc that was occurring due to weaning and the time of the month, I gave up on trying to change that one!

I figure since he hasn't stopped asking to nurse during the day that maybe we'll just work on getting through that for now. My hormones seem to have stabilized some since deciding that and last night the boys actually slept in their own beds, so I got to get some good quality sleep and that helped my outlook and sanity a TON.

With Aedyn I weaned when I was "supposed" to. Twelve months and we began cutting out sessions, by the time he was 13 months, he was even losing interest in his bedtime nursing. The loss of interest and my ubersensitive nipples from a new pregnancy meant the end of our nursing relationship.

Jaron is 16.5 months and nowhere near that point. I'm pretty sure that him still nursing so much is why #3 isn't on the way just yet. (After everyone I knew telling me how breastfeeding didn't work as birth control, we seem to be doing just fine with it...)

That's a big part of why I'm ready to wean, I don't really want the kids more than 2.5 years apart so waiting more than another 2 months will be cutting it close.

At the same time, I don't want to rush Jaron and I'm not ready to handle the long nights that come with night weaning.

But, I'm also just ready to have a break from breastfeeding. I'm afraid I'm about to open a huge can of worms here.

I love the fact and am proud that I can nourish my child with my body. But breastfeeding in and of itself...I don't enjoy it. I hear people gush about how they love breastfeeding and I'm happy for them, but personally I don't.

To me it's how you feed your baby, it's natural, it's free, it's convenient. (Honestly, it's the way I grew up and what I believe. From the time I was little I've known that a bottle is not the best and formula is the ultimate last resort.) It's what I have expected to do since forever.

But I can't wait to be done. I'm eagerly looking forward to about 6 years from now when hopefully our 4th child will be fully weaned and I can get the breast reduction that I've been waiting on since I was 18. I declined it then because of the risk of not being able to breastfeed.

I'm tired of having to wear clothes that are breastfeeding friendly. At my cup size, it's not easy or discrete to nurse in public; more often than not it requires two hands to arrange everything in a comfortable manner. And I found out that sometimes laying the baby on your lap while you get situated doesn't mean they will stay still and not roll or wiggle off. Awkward.

The clothing difficulties being what they are, I long to just pick up and cuddle Jaron without him fussing for "mnilks" and having to either put him down or deal with the hassle of half undressing myself for him to nurse for 2 minutes and be done. (Although hearing him say "mnilks, peasse" is about the most adorable thing ever!)

So, in truth: I'm ready for Jaron to be weaned, but I'm not ready for the actual process of weaning. He's not ready to wean and I'm not ready to do more than gently encourage. It might take awhile, but we'll figure it out and be all the better for taking our time and not rushing it. At the very least I'll never have to worry that I weaned too soon!

How do you really feel about breastfeeding and weaning? Read the other great posts from the Breastfeeding BlogHop (hosted by The Slacker Mom, The Gnome's Mom, and Happiness Redefined) and link up your own!!

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Put My Money Where My Mouth Is

Well, after thinking, and mentioning, and thinking, and mentioning, and thinking some more, and working out scheduling, and thinking. I finally went back to my local La Leche League.

I'd never planned to stop going, but life got in the way a couple times and then I didn't want to get attached here just in time to move to Tampa. So I just didn't go back after my first meeting. Then things changed, we're no longer moving to Tampa, and I was dragging my feet.

So I decided just to go. I could talk about Leadership after a few meetings, maybe. We'd see. But tonight, our leader asked us to introduce ourselves and say why we sought out LLL.

Ummm... Well, I couldn't bring myself to lie, so I just told the truth. I was there because I'd like to become an IBCLC and LLL Leadership is pretty much the only way for me to do that without moving my entire family. I also told them that I enjoyed the support and the feeling of breastfeeding being normal.

It is pretty refreshing to just be able to talk and hang out and pull my shirt down to feed my baby and not worry whether he pops off to check things out every 2 minutes. I also got to commiserate and swap tips with another mom of a gymnastic nurser.

So I'm in. That's it.

My personality combined with the way I was raised means that when I decide to do something I jump in both feet without holding back. Now I might take awhile to decide I will do whatever it is, I might test things out (that was my plan with this meeting, just see how it went, know one else would know what I was really testing for); but once I say it out loud, once someone else knows, I'm committed.

So, I spoke to one of the leaders tonight. I'll need to participate in meetings covering 2 other topics to complete the series and then we'll get going. But now they know and now I know. And to me that means no easy excuse to skip meetings or talk myself out of going. And it's a good thing.

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